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Who am I in spring?

By 12.4.2019 huhtikuu 29th, 2019 Ei vielä kommentteja

 

Sunny days in Turku are -in my personal opinion- like a dream come true. Everything and everyone looks different.

I’ve discovered myself looking at my friends when the sun is up, thinking “what a beautiful eyes they have!”. I feel like I’m discovering all these thing that were already there, but I didn’t take the time before to observe them.

What surprised me the most, was my reflection in the mirror, the first day of sun.

I, somehow, didn’t recognize myself. Didn’t recognize the girl staring at me, long, dark hair; big brown eyes with a defiant look.

I waited for her to disappear, but she took the main room of my head and started changing the decoration -and the rules-: warm colors and rainbows, sunglasses and sneakers. Head up, smile on.

At first, I was waiting for her lo leave, thinking it was a temporary thing, but every morning she was still there with the most inquisitive look I’ve seen.

She began then, to question everything I have done so far, requesting for new things: let’s go to the library! Let’s meet up with friends! Take some books and read more! eat healthier!  Wake up earlier! Exercise!…..

She was so demanding, and I was trying to please her.

But Who is she?

After a few days of deep thinking, I came up with the conclusion that I spent so much time getting to know myself in the winter, that I didn’t know myself in spring anymore.

What do I do when there’s sun and birds on the sky?

What to wear when there’s no snow on the streets?

What to do if I have to write essays and I only want to sit on a bench and enjoy the sun?

The spring version of myself keeps asking me to go somewhere and wander, while the winter version reminds me of how much we like to stay indoors.

In the meantime, I take them both to the library and back home again: head up, smile on. 

If I’m a hopeless wanderer, or if I’m made to stay indoors for the rest of my life, it’s something that -maybe- the summer version of myself will be able to answer.